It is not uncommon that I wake up with a random phrase or an image in my head. It can be as simple as the literal sense of a word that reappears over and over again to me in the physical form, in articles I read or hear in the lyrics of a song. Other times its a concept that weaves its way through my consciousness or a feeling that unrolls like a humid mist. The anomaly brushes up against me throughout the day like a light silk fabric reminding me to breath in its fragrance. There is always something fun to it, it's always engaging and I like it best when I gain some deeper understanding of myself from these interactions.
For example, just the other day, I was working on my art project, a sea glass mobile. I was looking at it, listening to what else it had to say, what more, if anything it wanted me to add to it. It felt a little bare, a little naked. I was pondering over perhaps adding feathers to give it more of a ‘birdie’, nestlike feel. Some plumage you know, for a softening, delicate effect. Later on that night we were watching the last and final episode of Mad Men (sniff-sniff) in which Don calls Betty by her family nickname ‘Birdie’. You see, I had been whispering that word in my head and rolling it around silently in my mouth all day.
The following afternoon I take the dogs out for a walk, and as we shut the door behind us a teeny tiny baby sparrow cheerfully hops off our front porch step, politely getting out of our way. Birdie. Leisurely taking its time, it didn’t seem threatened one bit by the dogs. It looked as if it had literally just flown the nest. It must have known the time was right, what with the sun shining and the weather being so sweet. She couldn’t quite manage her full body weight yet under those little wings but that didn’t stop her from enthusiastically flapping about, jumping around, exploring the riches of our front garden. Spring is in full bloom and the lush cornish outdoors are teeming with crunchy little insects and juicy earth worms. I'm sure she found some lunch, something to snack on and build up her strength.
And it continued: during our walk, everywhere I looked, I kept finding glossy black and grey new bird feathers scattered on the grass. Birdie. Some of them were beautiful. I picked quite a few up to add to my project yet by the time we got back home, most of them had fallen out of my pocket. Can’t cage a birdie now can you, not even its feathers.
Then there are other times when the morning 'memo' is a little more abstract. These are the days I am particularly intrigued. Especially if I feel there is a message behind it that I am not quite grasping. In fact, that’s when I know there is a message being offered up: when I just don’t get it.
Which brings me to today’s word. It’s ‘Kali’. Plain and simple. Just like that. K-A-L-I . What does that mean? Then I recall, oh Yes, Kali, that psycho killer qu'est-ce que c’est. This is she.
This Goddess, No, She Ain’t Cray-Cray
No matter what she looks like, she ain’t no psychokiller. Okay, apart from destroying ‘Raktabija by sucking the blood from his body and putting his many Raktabija duplicates in her gaping mouth’ and ‘becoming drunk on the blood of her victims on the battlefield’ (wikipedia) dancing in a triumphant destructive frenzy, she’s really a nice girl at heart.
Appearances are deceiving. My Lady Luck here, she’s had a bit of a bad rep if you ask me. Misunderstood, you see. Okay… you wouldn’t want to get into a fight with her. She’d probably rip your head off. Her necklace of skulls and skirt made of dangling human arms is a little intimidating. But this beauty here, this goddess of goddesses, she is the destroyer of the illusion of ego. So yeah, she is biting your head off. Her image serves to remind her beloved children, that ego comes into being when we identify only with the physical form, that is our bodies.
We are not bodies on a spiritual journey, we are spirits in a bodily experience. -Tweet
True emancipation from our ego happens when we learn to let go of our bodies, we detach from the physical dimension and are liberated into the next. The bangles of body parts Kali rocks out symbolise (to) all her beloved children that she helps set free from the self-imposed physical cage known as form.
Fear Not, My Physical Form
Kali ‘brings the death of the ego as the illusory self-centred view of reality…A person who is attached to his or her ego will not be receptive to Mother Kali and she will appear in a fearsome form’ according to Infinite Goddess -Embracing the Divine Mother . Whoa. A light and easy lesson for today then.
It’s not that bad really, once I get over it. I am enjoying where this is taking me. That is Kali. Making you do just that, get over it. The website further explains that ‘Mother Kali is the primordial energy which animates space and is perceived by us as the linear sequence of events which we call time (kala in Sanskrit comes from the root, meaning time). Her skin is midnight blue, almost black, which represents the womb of existence. This is the quantum world of unformed potentials and probabilities, from which all phenomena continually arise and into which they continually disappear.'
Kali asks you: ‘Who do you think you are?’ but before you even get a chance to answer, she prods you a second time, with the tip of her sword: ‘So… What are you?!’
Kali represents infinite awareness within the physical manifestation of form.
She is the goddess of insight and of release.
Got it. It makes complete sense. Now, more than ever , as I am offering my life over to the divine purpose of the will of god I often find myself challenged by the desperate clawing of my ego onto that which it has created as its home. Its home is a basis for smallness, living in fear and psychological and spiritual mutilation. Soooo not interested in that life anymore. Thank you very much.
I am going to tell you what happens next time that silly little voice creeps up in the back of my head and taunts me with the ‘can’t’, the ‘shouldn’t’ and the ‘won’t’. Do what Kali do, rip its fucking head off.
Infinite Goddess - Embracing the Divine Mother, Kali-Hindu Goddess of Liberation (online) at http://www.goddess.ws/kali.html (accessed 28 May 2015)
Wikipedia, Kali (online) at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kali (accessed 28 May 2015)