We Are the Angels

We are the angels we were waiting for.

We were all seeing it. Moving into the light. The White Light. Our future and our freedom. Then the day came when the bomb was dropped and we knew it was all over. 

We were moving into Fluidity. It had been coming for a while. We were experienced at losing form. It was a new skill that had been taught to us by the ancients and the elders and all those who came before us. Nothing new to it, really. 

We could dissolve time and split space within our physical bodies. It was a tearing open and a tearing apart. Like melting snowflakes. Trillions of tiny crystals breaking down and shifting. Icicles, particles, tears and fears. That's what we boiled down to.

Worlds were moving in and out of themselves, Twisting and churning into cosmic butter and silky smooth slides in deep space. We called them black holes and negative landscape. Except we took it to mean in a bad way when really it was referring to becoming so fully charged you entirely lose your self.  And with that you wake up and are delivered back into the warm bosom of the infinite whole once again. Forever.  Abstract. A thought. A stream of consciousness. The drop in the ocean. One small, short beautiful cycle of breath.  We were teasing ourselves and pulling back.  The time, we knew, it would come.  


Are you looking for me? I am in the next seat.
My shoulder is against yours.
You will not find me in stupas, not in Indian shrine rooms,
not in synagogues, nor in cathedrals:
not in masses, nor kirtans, not in legs
winding around your own neck, 
nor in eating nothing but vegetables
When you really look for me, you will see me instantly -
you will find me in the tiniest house of time.
Kabir says: Student, tell me, what is God?
He is the breath inside the breath.

translated by Robert Bly
"Risking Everything: 110 Poems of Love and Revelation"
edited by Roger Housden

We're Moving

So finally (!) we're back on track.  Phew, that was some testing times, these last few months, let me tell ya.  You know, when you decide to do something, - something 'big' in this life, like sell up, get rid of everything, move your family half way across the world to a place you have never even been before all only on a gut feeling and you know you are ready for it, ready for the challenges and experiences that will be presented for you to move and grow through - then Life Really Cracks Out The Good Stuff.  And when I say good, I mean the learning curves, the things you've got to put all of yourself into to keep breathing.

The physical tension was making us so very stiff, in the body. The flexibility required, took us back and forth between the extremes of Earth and Supreme. Matter and Non-Matter. Good lessons for sure, and physically strenuous.  Our muscles were seizing up and our joints were cracking and popping like Rice Crispies (Vata Vata Vata). Sure we do yoga and meditate every day, and thank dog we do, we'd be in worse shape if we didn't.  Paul has lost about a stone in weight and neither of us have been sleeping well.  But we put all our faith and belief into our conviction and we keep breathing.

We chant mantra and ask the angels for guidance. We carry crystals and gems in our pockets. I turn to Ganesh to help remove these superficial obstacles. We remind ourselves to release, release, Real Ease...and then it happens.  Just like that, The sun comes out one morning and the phone rings, with good news. We can  almost hardly believe it. We're on our way. Delays shift and the full Virgo 'death' moon brings righteous order to our worldly existence once again. For now anyway.

We're moving to the West Coast. I'm coming home.


Now breathe.

Days of the Dead. Nights of the Living.

The last jack-o-lantern Josh carved. The squirrels nibbled away at its eye.

The last jack-o-lantern Josh carved. The squirrels nibbled away at its eye.

Some of you with departed loved ones, and most of us are, may be noticing in the past week or so that those who have 'moved beyond' have decided to make an appearance recently in your living days. You may have seen them in your dreams, or caught them in your thoughts, or in a song that comes on the radio, on a bumper sticker that reminds you of something they once said...

Is that you? if so, Bravo. You've got this. 

At this time of year, not long after the clocks go back and towards the very end of October and during early November, the veil becomes thinner. Much thinner. The heavy blood burgundy coloured velvet curtain is lifted and: It's Showtime for the Dead! At least, that's what our customs and traditions have us likely to believe.

But isn't it true? Can you feel that as the days get darker, the nights grow longer, the air cooler that there is a definitive shift? A noisy altercation in the crunchy, dry leaves that encourages us to turn inward. To go inside, literally and figuratively, to explore our inner landscape, the warmth within. To get out of the cold and come together, to find a source of heat, to kindle the fire, to stare into its glow, to feed the soul.  To illuminate our inner dwellings with  candles and bathe in their radiance, mesmerised by the interrupted dance of their flicker.  

Something on the Air

I often catch myself sniffing into the wind like a wild wolf as a gust of autumn passes over me. It's saying something, whispering from the other world about the stillness found within. I think it's a culmination of this beautifully tender cyclical seasonal change that prepares and delivers us to the sensitive state where we are perceptive enough to feel our loved ones, in their altered shape and form, arriving for the party, inviting us to take part in the show.

I especially feel close to the Mexican interpretation of this, known as  Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead. It is custom to camp out at the gravesite and in cemeteries, sometimes even overnight, bringing food, and sweets and other offerings to the dead, decorating their tombstone with flowers, garlands, sugar skulls and crosses.  In other words: celebrating dead people. In particular, I love the 'calaca' (skeleton in Mexican Spanish) figure who is dressed in his/her fanciest clothes and is a rather jolly, fun loving character, always smiling and warm, and playful , having a good time.  The calacas play instruments and get the party started. For what kind of party is there if there is no music for dancing? Mexicans believe that every soul should be remembered as a happy one. And death should be a moment filled with joy.  

If you have been feeling rather close to your departed, or that they are closer than ever, it's because they are.  Trust that feeling. They have come for a really cool gathering and bring with them a with a message: Don't be scared. Join the party! They have come to remind us that life is for living. 

So have a blast, kick off your shoes and dance the nights away!

Happy Halloween! Happy Day of the Dead!


Sugar Skull images from Adventures in Making

We Are God

This vast plane of existence that we arrive into, Planet Earth, is the incubator of all life, as we know it. We are the hatchlings, the seeds, that germinate and explode with our god given wisdom, light and beauty.

Our purpose here is to perpetuate life and creation. That is all. 

Q: If we know our vastness why would we choose to arrive into these seemingly smallness, this complication and suffering.If we are god why would we choose to be anything smaller?

A: There is no smallness in our purest sense. That is only a concept we use in this realm.

Q: There is no greatness either , then? 

A: Yes, in a sense. Greatness implies size, limit and restriction. There are no restrictions. As god, we are infinite, eternal, limitless. We are All.

Like your grand Oak trees or your smallest flower, You are both here in your largest conceivable image and also, within you, you are also your smallest form, Your cellular makeup, divisible in your image is infinite. You are everywhere.

Q: Why do we come here?

A: Your experience on Earth, is one of the most interesting we have encountered. It is a playground for all of your desires and creations to unfold. It is where you decide what it is you want be. No matter what that is, you are in constant perpetuation of your godliness. No matter what. Your life as you call it, is yours. It has been chosen by you. And if you try hard enough, or easily enough as we like to call it, you will remember this. All of you return home no matter what you 'make' in this life.  Your busyness is what generates creation. Your stillness is what sparks your recollection (of what you are). You are in constant interplay. Back and forth, back and forth, and we encourage you to enjoy it.

That is why you are here. To discover, and rediscover, and discover again.

Q: Discover what?

A: That is up to you. You are creating your world. You are creating your own self. You are creating god. 


High Five Gods!

When Fear Lands On Your Doorstep

Today we caught a train home from the  Keleti Train station in Budapest just two days after it was closed due to escalated hostility between the police and migrants wishing to leave the country.  This train station and I, go way way back and have been on many rides together. We've been using this line of transport - in and out of Budapest - for as long as I had been living here, in Hungary. That's twenty five years now.  I couldn't see why we needed to do anything different this time around.

We are warned to avoid the area and make alternative arrangements for travel."You don't want to see what's going on over there" say all my Hungarian friends and family.  In other words, turn a blind eye and look the other way.  How could I when  all of Hungary is veiled in the suffering and conflict arising from the refugee  situation? When the current crises is the only topic of conversation amongst its citizens?  

The country is harshly divided. There are those who anger at the influx will only be to the detriment of their existence and are fiercely protecting their beliefs through violence and hatred. Their behaviour is inhumane and not worthy of any further mention on this page.  

This entire disaster (and all others) is a culmination of our collective consciousness and a clear reflection of what we are feeding our thoughts and souls. THAT IS HOW LIVING IN FEAR MANIFESTS

Then there are those that are disgusted at the way not only the EU proceedings are being conducted in an attempt to 'remedy' the situation but more strongly the manner in which their fellow Hungarian citizens are treating these people, these families, our fellow human beings. This humanitarian attitude has taken  matters into its own hands creating organisations and groups offering active assistance.  Many have opened spaces such as their privately owned restaurants and vacant rental accommodation close by the Keleti Station to be used as food and clothing warehouses and as places providing much needed bathing facilities and temporary respite. Volunteers are making time after work, squeezing it in on their lunch breaks and filling their weekends with generous hours of humane support to keep this momentum going.  Giving for the sake of giving:  Their time, their heart.  From their Soul.  THIS IS HOW LIVING IN LOVE MANIFESTS.

Brothers and Sisters, how we think is how we feel. How we feel is how we live.  Please  help raise our collective consciousness by paying careful consideration to your thoughts, how these unfold and create actuality in your life, and in others'. We are capable of such greatness together. If you are reading this, you are being called to do some special work. The real work you have come here to do: Change the World. We can't do it without you.